


Like Everything

by Kritty



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Episode Tag, Friendship, Goodbyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-04
Updated: 2012-10-04
Packaged: 2017-11-15 15:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kritty/pseuds/Kritty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU of/Tag to 6x11. The Doctor and Amy say Goodbye to each other. (ficlet)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Everything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thealpacalypse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealpacalypse/gifts).



> The Doctor might seem a bit ooc at the end, but that's just how I see him, because he's mad, you see. Mad and unbelievable and oh, so broken.  
> I hope you get why I wrote him like I like at the end of this little story.
> 
> Disclaimer: Doctor Who does not belong to me, I don't earn any money. A few bits of the dialogue in this one are actual parts of the episode, 6x11. I stole them and had my way with them.
> 
> English is not my 1st language.  
> I miss Amy like hell already.
> 
> I wrote this few months back, when things were still good and Amy was still with the Doctor and stuff.

**Like everything**

 

„Well, what's the alternative – me standing over your grave? Over your broken body, over Rory's body?“ he says, hearts beating painfully and a lump forming in his throat. He tries to make her understand, to make her see. The beautiful scottish girl, eyes so big, hair so red and soul so affectionate.  
Being at a loss for further words, he shakes his head and casts his eyes downward, trying to calm his dashing hearts.  
Then he suddenly feels Amy's arms around his shoulders, a small puff of air coming out her mouth, a bit desperate and very sad.  
It's a hug that says _Thank you, idiot_. It's a hug that says _Thank you for everything_.  
It's also a hug that says _Goodbye, Doctor_.  
He embraces her and stares at the house behind her, the house that was so easy to get for her, but doesn't seem to be enough for her. _Never enough, never enough, never enough, Amelia deserves more than that._  
He hears Amy taking deep breaths, feels her hand stroking the back of his head, like a lover, like a sibling, like a parent. Like everything.  
His hearts dare to burst into millions of tiny shards and he puts his face down on her hair and shoulder, making a little noise before he can prevent it. He smells fruity shampoo and the familiar scent of tardis, of home and adventure. Amy is doing the same, he feels it. He also feels her fingertips digging into his right shoulder for a second, the _thump-thump-thump_ of her single heart.  
Then she takes a breath and she puts her hands on his shoulders, stepping out of the hug, breathing shaky but confident. She looks at him with sad eyes, but there's a smile on her face.  
„Keep bumping into my daughter. Tell her to visit her ol' mom some time.“ she grins, her hands resting on his shoulders, reassuring and yet seeking reassurance.  
His hearts slow down and the lump in his throats melts away. A smile creeps over his face and he jiggles, answering with a noise that he meants to be something between a laugh and a confirmation.  
With a meaningful look behind her, he says: „Look after him.“  
For a second he thinks Amy's unsteady smile will falter and vanish, but she simply gives a little shake of her head and gently answers: „Look after you.“  
He smiles, a baleful claw reaching for his hearts and more sadness coming over him. But nevertheless he winks at her, trying to think of a witty comeback but pulling a blank.  
Then Amy raises her head, gets up on her tiptoes and puts a little kiss on his forehead.  
Like a lover, like a sibling, like a parent. _Like everything._  
The lump is back in an instant and the tears in is eyes almost hurt him. Immediately, he looks down, trying to prevent any emotions to appear on his face and failing expertly. Swallowing the lump he looks back up to Amy, aiming for a thankful smile, only accomplishing a shaky one.  
Does it need saying?  
_This one doesn't either._  
He looks Amy in the eyes, putting all of his feelings into it, then turns around, hands fisted in his pockets. He reaches the TARDIS, and when he stands in the doorway of the his blue box, he turns around and smiles at Amy, gives her one last, big smile. _See, Amy. I'm okay, I'll be carefull._  
For a second he fumbles for a fitting good-bye-gesture, but then he raises a hand and waves awkwardly, eliciting a little laugh out of Amy, who promptly waves back. 

And just like that he's back in the TARDIS, alone with his box and the whole wide universe.  
He leans against the door, the back of his head pressing against the reliable wall of blue, eyes staring at nothing.  
The TARDIS hums and he knows she left the Earth, left Amy, without him doing anything.  
_Good girl_ , he thinks and I always took you were you needed to go he hears, an echo from too long ago.

 _Good girl._  
He closes his eyes and feels a single tear running down his left cheek, finding its way to his mouth where he tastes salt and pain. He feels loss and farewell, he feels dislike and too much love.  
He thinks of Rory the brave Roman and Amelia Pond the girl with too much faith in him.  
He feels too much and thinks too much and it never stops, until every single on of them is dead and then it all begins again, and they're all gone and _he can't keep up._

He squints his eyes closed and takes a deep breath, waits for a moment.

Then he opens them and grins.

_I got to say hi and bye to Craig._

With erratic movements he rushes to the middle of the control room, mind racing and eyes wide open, a big smirk on his face. 

_I got to say hi and bye to everyone._

Because it's too much, he can't keep up.

He grins and shows his mirror image on the control column his teeth, eyes too big and too old.

It's too much.  
_It's like everything all at once._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it wasn't too rubbish.  
> Feel hugged.


End file.
